Are you struggling with negative emotions related to unpleasant experiences from your past? Have you noticed that these emotions often resurface when you’re feeling sad or stressed? Do you feel like they sabotage your efforts to move forward in the present—perhaps when you’re about to take a professional or personal step?
It’s important to understand that these emotions do not necessarily reflect reality. Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t mean things truly are that way. Perhaps we experienced disappointment or failure in the past, unpleasant interactions with specific people, or felt unloved or not loved in the way we needed in a particular relationship. While these may have been real past experiences, the emotions attached to them can become a heavy burden, preventing us from seeing others—and more importantly, ourselves and our capabilities—objectively in the present.
If you’re about to take an important step but feel held back by negative emotions (such as feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy, or inferiority), I suggest doing something kind for yourself by trying a simple cleansing exercise to release the emotional weight of past events that weakened you.
You can perform this emotional cleansing exercise by naming three (or more) things you feel sorrow about, followed by expressing gratitude for things you appreciate, and closing with a loving statement to yourself.
Example:
Significant step causing stress: Meeting someone new
I’m sorry for…
The bullying I experienced in middle school, the insults I received from A., the painful breakup with X.
Thank you for…
The people who support me, my personal growth, my knowledge, my patience, perseverance, and determination to keep going despite the challenges I’ve faced.
I love you, (your name).
At this point, you can also give yourself a hug.
IMPORTANT: Keep in mind that when negative emotions are persistent and deeply distressing, they cannot be resolved through simple ritual exercises alone and may require professional treatment. Do not hesitate to seek help from a licensed psychologist or psychotherapist.
