Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s thoughts and feelings clearly while always showing respect for oneself and others. It is a frequently misunderstood term, as many people confuse assertiveness with aggression, believing that assertive individuals must be aggressive. This is not the case. Assertiveness is based on the principle that every person has rights, regardless of their social status or role, and that they are entitled to claim these rights without violating the rights of others.
Barriers to Assertiveness
People often fear being assertive because they believe they will be misunderstood or disliked. Some are even terrified that if they attempt to assert themselves, they will not be able to handle the situation, find the right words, or that they will feel guilty or come across as “mean” to others. However, if one does not learn to stand up for their rights and express their dissatisfaction when necessary, their communication and relationships with others may suffer irreparable long-term damage. Additionally, their mental and physical health may be at risk, as constantly suppressing anger and frustration can lead to becoming a frequent target of exploitation.
Benefits of Assertiveness
Understanding the advantages of assertiveness may motivate you to practice it. A person who stands up for themselves and their rights gains greater self-confidence and self-esteem, improves their communication with others, earns respect more easily, becomes more decisive, and experiences better emotional health.
Your Rights
You have the right to express your opinions freely and defend yourself when necessary. However, to do so, you must first be aware of your rights. Below is a helpful list that you may find useful. You can print it out and carry it with you if it helps reinforce your awareness of your rights and makes you feel more secure until you become comfortable asserting yourself and communicating effectively with others without assistance.
“My Rights”
- I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable, and equal human being.
- I have the right to express my needs and set my priorities as an individual, independent of any roles I assume in life.
- I have the right to express my emotions.
- I have the right to voice my opinions and values.
- I have the right to say “no” or “yes” for myself without feeling guilty.
- I have the right to make mistakes.
- I have the right to change my mind.
- I have the right to refuse responsibility for other people’s problems without guilt.
- I have the right to say, “I don’t understand” and ask for more information.
- I have the right to ask for what I want.
- I have the right to stand up for myself when interacting with others without depending on their approval.
GOOD LUCK!
